Battleship (2012)

Battleship is one of the most fraudulently advertised movies of all time.  It is in no way based on the classic game from Milton Bradley.  Nor does it feature the classic line, "you sunk my battleship!"  A movie that was really based on the game would pit opposing fleet commanders against each other.  Perhaps the best way that this could be accomplished would be by portraying the greatest battleship vs. battleship combat action, the 1916 Battle of Jutland.  Or there could be a flick about the last time that battleships were used in a fleet action, the 1944 Battle of Leyte Gulf.

Instead what we get is the improbable story of two brothers and a blonde bimbo.  Of course one of the brothers is a winner and the other is a loser,  Of course, the blonde is the daughter is the daughter of a big shot admiral who loathes the loser brother who the blonde loves.  What we have here is just another movie combination of a formulaic plot, poor acting and a glorified special effects festival.

Battleship is also notable for its scientific ignorance.  Spaceships are able to travel faster than the speed of light.  Likewise radio waves also travel at speeds far faster than what are actually able to do.  All this ignorance is in service of a truly idiotic plot of an awful screenplay.

To be sure, there is also a redeeming aspect to this movie:  patriotism.  In an age when all too many Hollywood productions trash America and American institutions, it is notable that Battleship the U.S. Navy is depicted in a positive light.  The ending scenes of this flick are wonderfully patriotic.  Another redeeming aspect of Battleship is that it offers two hours of mindless entertainment to audience members who can turn their brains off amd who do not mind huge plot holes.  Likewise, if you do not care for such things as acting, direction, screenplay not too mention logic and reason, then this movie is for you.

On the other hand, if you appreciate a good well made movie, the  avoid Battleship like the plague.  For starters, this an incredibly vulgar flick with all sorts of four letter words being thrown around.  The acting and direction are poor.  Neither the cinematography are up to the level that you would expect in  a blockbuster type movie.  Battleship is, at best, a lackluster movie that is a waste of both your time and money.